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I have been intending to write a post on this for ages! A few people have asked how I work in healthier eating for both myself and my husband James. 

While I’ve been starting to eat healthier James has ended up making a few changes himself which have led to him losing around 2 stone. Here’s us back in 2008 at our wedding:

And us this Christmas 2010:

I know my weight loss has been a bit more dramatic, but slowly and surely James has lost weight too. He used to exist on a combination of white bread, frozen ready meals, pizza, chips and burgers – as we both did when we first started going out.

Source

As my diet has changed this has obviously impacted on us both. My approach has never been to nag him - I think a combination of me not wanting to eat frozen food or takeaways all the time and not having as much junk in the house has really helped. James also recognised that when he had junk food in the house I would nibble on it and then feel really bad afterwards so he stopped getting it as often to try and help me stick to my plan.

To be honest, in the past it has generally been the case that I have cooked two completely separate meals, one for me and one for him (I say cooked, more like placed in microwave or oven!) but more recently I have tried to make the effort to cook meals that may still be different but are still similar enough to feel like we are eating ‘together’, as I think this is really important in a relationship.

Source (please excuse hugely cheesy pic!)

James is also a committed carnivore and obviously I’m at the more vegan end of the spectrum now. Luckily James is incredibly supportive of my dietary choices and always has been.

He is also a massive fuss pot, but on the plus side he will happily eat Quorn and several veggies. When it comes buying meat for him to eat we have discussed it and agreed that he is happy to eat less chicken and turkey and more fish and seafood so that when we do buy chicken we can afford free range.

As his job has now changed we will be eating together most nights and this has prompted me to look at how we can eat together better.

So how the hell do I go about feeding us both meals together without having to cook completely separate dishes that a) he will actually like, b) satisfy my vegan / vegetarian / healthy / non processed preferences and c) not take 2 hours to prepare and cook every night?

Well, here is the plan! Based on the approach that I have tried before, my hope is that I will be able to come up with two similar dishes and just tweek the ingredients to satisfy both our tastes. For example – this week I made my tofu sausage with tomato rice – this was highly experimental and I had no idea if James would like it. I started by cooking up the garlic and onion in one pan then I split this into two frying pans and added my tofu sausages and peas to one, and 3 good quality pork sausages to the other (no peas as James doesn’t like them). I then added the rice and tomato sauce to both (giving James a larger portion of rice) and served up with the cabbage and kale. Here’s James plate (he had one cup of rice):

Here’s mine (I had half a cup of rice and more greens):

I also used the same approach for this stir fry. Here’s my plate including red cabbage, spring greens, red pepper, carrot, leek, mushroom, adzuki beans, gomasio:

James plate – he had some quorn chicken pieces, egg noodles and only the greens, carrots, cabbage and mushrooms as he doesn’t like leeks or peppers:

I know that James is pretty good compared to a lot of guys – the fact that he’s willing to at least try things and compromise sometimes is a big help.

I think if I had to sum up how things have developed with James I would give you these tips:

• Find out what healthy things they do like, that you also like, and focus on them – For James that is broccoli, carrots, mushrooms, cabbage, spinach, potatoes, quorn, eggs, cheese, seafood, Italian pizza / pasta dishes
• Have a mine and yours version of each meal – like in the examples above. With each meal think of what you can tweek so that your not eating completely separate dishes. This is much easier if you meal plan. Other examples I’ve thought about for us include:

- Jacket potato with tuna and salad for him, sweet potato with beans and salad for me.

- Lean fresh beef burgers on top of grilled mushrooms with potato wedges for him, veggie burger on top of grilled mushrooms with parsnip chips for me.

- Chicken breast with mashed potato, steamed veggies and gravy for him, Baked tofu with roasted mashed squash, steamed veggies and miso gravy for me

- Ham, cheese and mushroom omelette for him, tofu and veggie scramble with nutritional yeast for me

• Still have a couple of meals a week when you eat separately, for the sake of your own sanity! – James usually has one night at least when his best friend comes over for a Play Station fest, they always get a big fresh pizza from the counter in Sainsbury’s. That evening gives me the opportunity to make something a little more experimental! I also fully accept that not everyone wants to eat the way I do so having some flexibility is important too.
• Don’t nag them – I know that with James if I go on and on about something it just makes him pissed off. I just got on eating my own food – eventually his habits improved.
• Fill the fridge, freezer and cupboards with healthy stuff – I know that James will eat strawberry yoghurt, bananas (not too ripe) and crunchy apples so I try and have them available as often as possible. This may sound bad, but if you can get control of the grocery shopping and budget then it makes it easier to avoid buying the frozen crap, or like me, just fill your freezer with your frozen fruits, soups and tofu so there's no more room left!
• Always have a healthy fall back meal option – for James as long as I have eggs and cheese for an omelette or pasta, tuna and tomato sauce he’s happy.

I do hope that some of these tips are helpful although I know some of you are dealing with some very difficult and fussy fellas! It has taken 2 years for these changes to have become habit for us, but they have worked for me. I think the most important thing is that James has seen for himself how I have benefited from eating a better diet, and although his is still not perfect its a hell of a lot better than it used to be.

I’m hoping that over the coming weeks I will be seeing plenty of empty plates from him as he tries a few new things!

Do you have any other tips for healthy eating in a relationship?