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Today I’d like to share with you some of my thoughts on natural and organic skin care and make up. Its something I’ve been getting more interested in recently, especially after reading books such as Crazy Sexy Diet and a new book I have recently purchased – The Beauty Detox Solution by Kimberly Synder (review to come!) Both books briefly discuss some of the issues with modern skin care and make up products and some of the possible side effects of using products full of artificial ingredients and synthetic chemicals.

The skin is the bodies largest organ and absorbs whatever we put on to it. When I pay so much attention to the quality of what I put into my mouth, it made me wonder why I didn’t give the same consideration to what I put on my skin. I do believe that what we eat has a huge affect on our skin and beauty, so it makes sense to support that by using products that aren’t going to negate the effects of a healthy diet!

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Of the wide range of synthetic chemicals used in modern skin care and make up some research has shown that they can be irritants, release formaldehyde (which some studies show has links with cancer), can generate other carcinogens and even disrupt hormones, not to mention the ecological impact and animal welfare concerns connected to some ingredients.

‘Natural’ and ‘Organic’ branded products tend to be free from (or mostly free from) these synthetic ingredients and instead use naturally sourced and sometimes organic ingredients instead, with the belief that this will reduce our toxic load, be better for us and better for the environment.

My favourite natural and organic brands include:

Lush – I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t love Lush! I adore the smell of their shops on the high street. They pride themselves on creating products using fresh fruit, vegetables, oils and safe synthetics with environmentally friendly packing and a commitment to animal welfare. I’ve currently got my eye on this perfume set with a range of mini fragrances:

Korres – I really love the Korres brand, products come clearly marked with what ingredients they contain and if they are vegetarian and vegan. My favourite products include the bitter almond shower gel, bitter almond body milk and raspberry lip gloss:

Kiehls – Kiehls only use a minimal amount of synthetic ingredients in their products. I love their Creme De Corps body lotion which contains almond oil and is so nourishing on my skin:

Dr Organic – I like Dr Organics as a more affordable brand of natural and organic skin care. I’ve been using their Rose Otto night cream, eye cream and shower gel:

Naked Body Care – Another more affordable brand often available on a 3 for 2 offer in Boots, I’ve been using the detox shampoo and rescue conditioner:

Green People – I’ve only recently became aware of this brand as I was looking for a natural organic facial day moisturizer with sun protection:

I found this product and love it! It works really well on my skin and doesn’t leave it feeling greasy or oily. It contains hemp oil, aloe vera and green tea.

I recently placed an order with Ophelia Organics that stock a range of organic skin care and make up lines. I got this amazing facial wash:

This smells fabulous and really leaves my skin feeling clear and oil free!

Of course you can always make your own beauty products, that way you know exactly what your putting on your skin! I often make a body scrub with sugar and olive oil, as well as using the almond meal leftover from making almond milk as a facial scrub.

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I am aware that the ‘natural’ and ‘organic’ labels are in danger of being used as a sleek marketing tool to cash in on the interest in natural products so its probably worth checking out each brand before you buy and looking at the ingredients lists to see if what you are getting truly is what you are looking for. The ingredients lists on some products can be really scary to read but this excellent list of which ingredients to avoid from the Green Beauty Bible site gives a clear and easy to understand guide of what to look out for.

Now, a beauty blogger I am not, these are just my thoughts and experiences on the topic. I can’t say that my skin is perfect or has dramatically improved since using more natural and organic products, but I certainly feel more comfortable avoiding potentially toxic ingredients, especially in products like moisturisers that absorb right into the skin.

What are your thoughts and experiences with natural and organic skincare and make up? I’m definitely wanting to start using more natural make up – do you have any favourite brands you’d recommend?

I’m also guest posting today over at the lovely MovesnMunchies – please go and check it out and leave me some comment love!

I’ve wanted to write this post for a while now but I’ve had so many thoughts going through my head I didn’t know where to begin!

*Disclaimer – I will be discussing things that people suffering from an ED may find triggering as well as this being a generally wordy and for some, boring as hell post ;-)*

I think the last time I wrote one of these kind of posts I was really starting to realise that I needed to gain a little bit of weight and I had just started having a few ‘over eating’ episodes. Since August I’ve gained about 7lbs – I’m not completely sure if that’s right as I haven’t weighed myself in a couple of weeks – more on that in a mo!

I just want to prefix this by saying that having an odd ‘over eating’ occurrence is totally normal- we’ve all stuffed ourselves full sometimes and I think having a few snacky evenings every once in a while is fine! However the issues for me has been the frequency of overeating and how its made me feel.

September and October where pretty bad months in terms of the over eating episodes and I’m pretty certain that’s its due to them that I’ve gained weight. I’ve had mixed feelings about these episodes – on one hand I didn’t feel guilty, I didn’t feel completely out of control, I needed to gain some weight and I enjoyed the food I was eating. On the other hand, over eating like that left me feeling physically un well and very worried that my weight was going to balloon out of control.

While all this was happening I was trying to get my head around just eating what I wanted within reason and allowing my body to come to its natural happy weight. During November I had a couple of over eating episodes but not as bad as before and I finally feel like I’m gaining some balance – although it feels like I’ve been saying that forever! I’m happy that I gained that weight and I feel stronger for it, however I’m still plagued with some negative thought patterns about this weight gain such as:

• What happens if the weight gain doesn’t stop?
• What will I do if I get too big for my clothes? (I can answer this one now – the same as I did when I lost weight: eBay!)
• Will people see me as a failure if I gain weight back (even if its actually healthy for me?)

Although I do have these worries, I’m trying to overcome them by focusing on the real reasons I live the way I do now: to feel healthy and at my best! I’m also sick of over analysing every mouthful – ‘am I eating enough? am I eating too much? I am so over it! I’m getting much better at just eating what I want, in the amounts I want, without it being too excessive and without analysing it.

I had also found that I had returned to constantly weighing myself which was really doing me no favours. One night after over eating a bit I weighed myself and got a shock at how high the number was, went to bed really upset, then weighed myself the next morning to see that I was 8lb lighter! The scales are evil! That made me realise that although the scales can be useful tools for some people – for me and where I am currently, they don’t help. As my weight has dropped in the past and because I’ve been overweight before it makes sense to monitor things, but there’s nothing the scale can offer me that looking in the mirror or checking the fit of my jeans can’t. I’m going to be really strict with myself and only get weighed once every 4 – 6 weeks as a final check.

I’ve also been taking a really long hard look at myself recently, why I blog and why I eat the way I do. I think some healthy living blogs attract a lot of criticism sometimes and I just wanted to be clear that I do question myself a lot of time – at the end of the day all any of us can do is stay true to ourselves. I was actually starting to feel guilty for not eating more sweets and stuff after some comments – but I can’t be something that I’m not and I’m certainly not going to feel pressured to change the way I eat to make other people happy, I’ve had enough of that to last me a lifetime!

We all have our own definition of what is healthy for us as individuals. I have examined why I make the food and exercise choices I do, and I can say hand on heart that I eat and exercise the way I do for all the right reasons. I’m a ‘mostly’ vegan because I genuinely love the food, how it makes me feel and the ethical and environmental reasons. I’m not a mostly vegan to restrict my intake. I enjoy raw foods because I find them interesting, creative and yummy and of course they are also healthy which makes me feel good! I exercise 6 times a week because I love it, exercise makes me feel strong and empowered. One of the reasons I exercise is to help maintain a healthy weight, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I eat a lot of green smoothies and salads because I think they are utterly delicious, the fact that they are healthy is just a bonus ;-) I don’t eat a lot of processed or sugary foods because they make me feel like crap – I get headaches and heart burn and yes, I sometimes don’t eat them because I want to maintain a healthy weight and that is ok too. I think it can be useful to ‘check in’ with yourself – especially when you read blogs and can be easily influenced!

I’m the first to admit that the way I eat and exercise can’t be classed as ‘normal’ but in this day and age what the hell is normal? Statistically speaking normal is being overweight or obese, having diabetes or heart disease and only 1 in 4 meals being home cooked. If that’s normal then I’m happy to be different! Within obvious reason I think its up to you to decide what is your normal and what is a healthy balance for you.

My dream of being a diet and nutrition advisor and delivering healthy living programmes out in the community have also prompted this cold hard look at myself and my healthy living philosophy – if I’m going to be able to help people live healthier happier lives I need to get my own house in order. I can truly say that I’m closer to that point now than I’ve ever been before, and I’m hoping that all of the ups and downs I’ve experienced in my journey is going to make me more able to relate to other peoples problems and issues.

As for weight maintenance – I can remember when I was losing weight, I imagined that once I got to goal weight it would be all unicorns and rainbows! Its definitely not as straight forward as I’d imagined, I never thought that being too skinny would be an issue for me!

I guess I’m at a place now where I’m simultaneously re gaining some control in terms of over eating and at the same time letting go of a lot of worries I’ve had about weight gain, what I’m eating and how I look. Step by step, I’m improving my relationship with food and my body :-)

If you’ve got this far, thanks for reading my ramblings! What’s your relationship with the scale? Do you find it a help or a hindrance? Do you ever question your choices and lifestyle? What role do blogs play in influencing your lifestyle choices?

A few days ago I received an email from a blog reader asking me about being organised and how this has helped me achieve some of my goals as well as keeping up healthy habits. I thought this topic would make an interesting Monday Musings post as it was actually something I had been thinking a bit about as recently I don’t feel like I’ve been as organised as usual and have felt myself getting a little stressed as a result.

I thought it would be a useful exercise to remind myself of some of the tips and tricks I use to make busy weeks run a little smoother!

Meal Plan

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This is something I find invaluable. I know its not for everyone, but I find that taking a few minutes at the start of the week and before a grocery shop to plan out meals is a real time and money saver. I tend to do a quick review of the fridge, freezer and cupboards, as well as giving a brief thought to what fruit and veggies are in season at the moment and therefore likely to be on cheap at the shops, and plan around those.

I’ll usually add my workouts to my meal plan to ensure that I plan in some good post workout nutrition – for example making sure I’m having a protein rich meal after a body pump class or a nutrient dense recovery green smoothie post run. I’ll also add in evening work meetings, later nights and social occasions so I know when I have more time to prepare a meal, when I may be eating out, or when I need to take more food with me to work.

Diary workouts

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As I usually add these into my meal plan – which to be honest ends up looking more like a schedule with meals in between, I don’t diary them separately. Actually having my workouts written down including what I’m doing and when I’m doing it, planned to fit in around everything else, is really helpful in sticking with exercise and being consistent.

Out fit plan

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This is something I’m trying to do more as part of liberating my wardrobe! On a Sunday night I’ll quickly look in my wardrobe, check my diary for any work meetings that I may need to dress more smartly for, consider the weather (which is easier said than done at the moment!) and put together a couple of outfits ready to stick on in the morning. It saves so much time!

Batch cook

Veggie Chilli

This is something I’ve started to slack on a bit recently, but I used to find that making up a big portion of veggie chilli, a soup or a curry was a great way to have meals on hand for busy nights. I would just make up a big pan of something and freeze in single meal size portions ready to be pulled out of the freezer on a morning to defrost ready for the evening.

Make planned leftovers

Sausage and tomato rice – James style

When I plan my meals I try and make sure that I either make up enough for another meal, or that I can use some of the ingredients in a simple easy way for lunch or dinner the next day. I tend to make up a dish for me and a dish for James, both with enough leftover to feed us the next evening. For example, I’ll make up a big pan of sausage with mushrooms, brown rice and tomato sauce for James and a Buddha bowl of chickpeas, rice and veggies for me, both enough for two servings, then I just steam some greens for both of us so the next evening all I need to do is steam up more greens or if I’m feeling really lazy I just wack on a handful of spinach!

Make up a ‘grain of the week’

Back when I first turned veggie and started to eat more grains I would make a ‘grain of the week’. This was a great way to experiment with new grains – each Sunday I would just cook up a big pan of grain – rice, quinoa, barley, millet etc and use them with meals during the week, including some breakfasts. It saved a lot of time as it could be eaten with one of the batch cooked frozen meals, a tin of beans and veggies, stir fried veggies etc.

Have ‘lazy’ alternatives available

I’ve recently found that in the absence of ‘grain of the week’ having a few of those packets of microwavable rice or quinoa in the cupboard a real stress saver. Quick cook carbs like whole grain pasta, soba noodles, whole grain couscous and bulgar alongside a cupboard stocked with tinned beans and soya beans in the freezer are oh so handy when you just can’t be arsed.

Prep lunches the night before

Salad beast with basil pine nut and hemp pesto and raw crackers

I know this is a bit of an obvious one but I always try and make my lunch the evening before, or if possible with certain things that will last well, at the weekend. For salads I’ll chop up the veg while I’m chopping the veg for the evening meal, multitasking at its best!

Make up a dip or dressing each week

My favourite green goddess dressing being used as a dip

Especially as I’ve started enjoying more raw foods, whipping up a quick dressing or dip (which can also be watered down into a dressing) has been useful in making my salads a lot more interesting, nutritious and satisfying as well as being great to eat with veggies and crackers as a quick snack.

With all that in mind there’s also a few things I’m going to try out over the next few weeks:

• Make use of the dehydrator – this weekend I made up a big batch of juice pulp crackers and my first batch of juice pulp bread – both of which will keep all week and make great accompaniments to lunches and dinners!
• Get back to making a grain of the week
• Experiment with multiple use meals like this one from Hipsterfood – a mix of lentils, spices and nuts that can form the base of a sandwich spread, a wrap, a burger, salad topping or Buddha bowl meal. I would love to try making up a giant pan full and eating throughout the week adding variety with different sauces and dressings. I bet it would be a very cheap way to eat too!

I know that a lot of that can just seem like a giant amount of hard work. Yes, it does take some commitment, but 1 hour on a Sunday afternoon spent cooking a pot of grain and blending up a dip is going to save you more time and stress in the long run. Plus I kinda enjoy my Sunday cook up sessions!

I’ve also found that using a tool like Evernote (which is free!) helps as I keep my meal / exercise plan, shopping list, wish lists, recipe inspiration, work to do list, er whole life, on that so I can access it on my work PC, home laptop and my iPhone on the go.

Are you a naturally well organised person or is it something you have to work at? What are your top organisation tips?

It’s been a little while since I’ve done one of my wordy posts so I thought I was probably over due giving you a more in depth update on things going on with me!

*this is a very wordy post and I will be talking about some topics which could be sensitive for those suffering from an ED, if you feel like this might affect you negatively please reconsider reading :-)

I always really enjoy writing these posts as I often discover so much just through the process of getting it all out of my head. I’ve come to realise that the process of self reflection is very important for me. I also like to share because I know that so many of you can relate to different aspects of what I’ve been experiencing.

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First of all I thought it might be useful to link to a few of my other wordy posts in chronological order in case any of you are catching up:

• Feeling snacky and what is healthy
• Where I am now and a bit of a rant
• Changes
• Health Weight Gain
• Another Honest Blog Post
• The Evolution of my Diet

I have to admit its rather interesting reading these posts back – the scary thing is that I’ve thought I was on the right lines many times before so now it’s back to the drawing board!

My Body

I sit here today, about 4 stone (56lbs) less than I was 4 years ago, but about 17lbs more than I was at this point last year. I can hand on heart say I am probably the happiest in terms of my how my body looks now than I have ever been at any point in my life. Just writing that has made me smile! I’ve been on every diet under the sun, I’ve been obese, very slim and now I finally feel like I’m actually around about the right size for me. Although I have felt that way before when I have been thinner, I think that as I have been there and back again and because I have tackled some disordered thought patterns, this time the words really reflect how I feel inside. I do have some loose skin, stretch marks and a slight muffin top but I also have my breasts back, a cracking pair of legs and a fab waist. I’m never going to have a ‘perfect’ body whatever that may be, but I’m damn grateful for what I’ve got. Personally I love having some curves along with a bit of muscle as I feel it suits my frame and I feel strong and confident :-)

My Diet

I was tracking my calories for a while to make sure that I was eating enough (ironic considering I was once so overweight!) to make sure that I was progressing with tackling my amenorrhea situation. It worked really well at helping me maintain my weight and stop binging, particularly while I was running. Over the last couple of months I’ve stopped calorie counting and have been trying to eat more intuitively. I’ve also stopped weighing myself. I know I have gained weight as a result of the indulgences of the music festival and my birthday as well as lots of going out in between, but as I have said above, while I can look at myself naked in the mirror and feel pretty happy with what I see I couldn’t give a toss what the number on the scale says. And I actually mean it this time!

The foods I eat have also changed rather dramatically and I think they will change even more in the coming months. After being mostly vegan for a little over a year I have started adding dairy and eggs back into my diet. I have also increased the amount of fat and protein I eat. Anything low fat does not go into my trolley, I’m full fat all the way! Tinned full fat coconut milk, full fat Greek yoghurt and full fat goats cheese are staples for me now. Don’t get me wrong, for a long time I felt the best I ever had eating a vegan diet and it may be in time that I return to it, however I feel like to need to have come full circle with my diet and re educate myself on what is best for my body by listening to it rather than just doing what the books or research tells me.

I did mention in my September goals that I was going to do a lot of self reflection and experimentation in these next few months and my diet is a big part of this. To be honest I’m worried that past decisions I have made to become vegetarian and then vegan were actually done for the right reasons. I do worry how much influence reading blogs may have had, take the current Paleo trend for example. I have nothing against anyone trying it out, but I have felt a strange urge to try it even after not eating meat for the last two years! I now feel that I am in a place where I do not want to label myself or my diet in any way and just see what works by starting again from scratch based on what I believe in and what feels right.

Doing my training with IIN has made me take a totally fresh look at all of this and I have spent a lot of time thinking about my own dietary philosophy and approach that I would like to base my health coaching practice on. I have so much to share with you on this, but the basic premise is that different diets work for different people – we are all unique individuals and it makes perfect sense to me that not one way of eating will ever be right for everyone of us. I want to help people to cut through the crap to find out what works for them! Going through that process myself is the first step.

My Exercise

After being a committed runner for two years I packed in running once I’d realised it was not doing me any good mentally or physically. I haven’t ran in over two months. I still workout, but no where near as hard as I used to. My workouts are challenging but not punishing and I actually enjoy them. I have two rest days a week instead of one, and at least one workout a week is yoga. Speaking of which I’ve just fallen head over heels for yoga, especially hot yoga. It’s a great form of exercise for my current situation. I also love strength training – and I know it has been lifting weights that has helped me build more muscle to give that extra padding a bit of scaffolding to hold it in place!

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So that is kind of where things are with me. Still no sign of my period at the moment but I continue to feel confident its just a matter of time until it comes back. I may have to consider cutting back on exercise a bit more especially as my time becomes even more precious in the months to come. I’m currently working full time, studying, writing this blog and setting up two businesses as well as trying to be the best wife, friend, daughter, sister and auntie I can be. Its crazy times! I love everything I have going on, I just need to remind myself to deal with any stress when it arises. I’m journaling every day and my weekend of Reiki has given me some new tools to help as well!

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Basically I feel like over the last couple of months I have become so much more relaxed around food and exercise. This has resulted me getting slightly bigger, but the trade off is a happier me all round and a better over all quality of life!

If you are still reading after all of that, thank you!

Have you ever questioned your actions or looked critically at why you eat a certain way? Do you do much self reflection? Have you ever felt influenced to adopt a certain diet? Do you label your diet?

First of all, big thanks to all your lovely comments yesterday! I’m feeling a bit worse for wear today and my knee is a little swollen where I fell, but apart from that I’m still feeling on top of the world!

I’ve mentioned for a while that I wanted to do a post on my thoughts around the excessive snackiness I’ve been experiencing lately. I apologise in advance as this is a very  long and wordy post! I’m going to be talking about some of my issues with food so if your suffering from an eating disorder and feel any of this could be triggering or if your just not interested ;-) then it may be best to skip this post.

I’m just going to do a very quick summary of my ‘healthy living’ journey so far for any new readers. A few years ago I was almost 15 stone, 206lbs, and fed up of being bigger – I was very unhappy with myself and didn’t have a lot of confidence. I’d dieted before but had always regained the weight. Something just seemed to stick with me this time round and through generally eating better and exercising, I lost weight and got to about 10 stone, 140lbs, when I started blogging. Since I started the blog and reading more blogs my diet has changed dramatically. I’ve gone from an omnivore to a ‘mostly’ vegan and I enjoy my food more than ever before. I’m also the healthiest and happiest I’ve ever been in my life :-) Clearly I’ve been influenced by blogs, but I feel that the changes in my diet have came about organically as I’ve learned more about nutrition and more importantly, more about my own body.

I’ve also lost more weight, to the point of being close to, but never within, the unhealthy BMI range. I’ve started getting a few comments from friends and family about this too. As I’ve been saying for a while now I really wanted to stop losing weight and at least maintain or preferably gain more weight. I recognised that this was not healthy and that I had developed some unhealthy thought patterns that needed to be addressed, and after a lifetime of trying to lose weight, naturally its going to take some time to reverse those ingrained habits. I’m not perfect and I am on a journey to learn more about myself and my body and clearly I’m going to have slip ups on the way. I have posted a couple of times on this – see my vegan for a month and finding balance posts for more background.

I’d also like to state that I have never had an eating disorder or have one now. That would be a pure insult to anyone that has suffered with what is a truly horrendous disease. What I have struggled with is a complicated relationship with food.

Its only been recently that I’ve started to feel like I’m really getting to know my own body. I’ve developed a love of exercise – and I exercise because I enjoy it, not in order to maintain or lose weight. I’ve also developed a love of certain foods – including green smoothies and big salads, which I never dreamed I would enjoy as much as I do! Its at the point now that my body craves green smoothies when it would usually have craved a takeaway! With this change in diet I have also been left very sensitive to sugar. I’ve always been sensitive to sugar but now if I go even slightly over board on it I can really feel it, I even wake up with a sugar hangover! I tend to feel ‘sugared out’ very easily, and when I eat a lot more processed foods or caffeine I feel a natural urge to eat better for a while.

I know that my diet could be described as extremely healthy and ‘clean’ (although I despise that word) but you know what I mean – very unprocessed, not very sugary etc. I eat this way because I love those foods and they make me feel fantastic. However I do want to make it clear that I also have no problem with drinking chemically coloured cocktails, knocking back shots and hammering the Chinese buffet on occasion too! Life is too short not to enjoy ‘unhealthy’ foods some times – take yesterday for example, I loved every single bite of that cinder toffee!

What I have recently been experiencing is excessive snackiness that seems to happen on an evening. I’ve really been going for sugary nut butters (hello PB&Co I’m looking at you!) and chocolate. When this first started I had no problem with it and really enjoyed it! However it got to the point that it was happening each evening and I was eating until I felt physically sick, and because I’m so sensitive to sugar, I felt really poorly too! This is not healthy for me. I was waking up feeling uncomfortably full and not looking forward to breakfast – my favourite meal, the horror! Its not that I have an issue with indulging every now and then – I was over the moon that I had the appetite to enjoy such snacks to begin with, but then it seemed to get out of hand and has just left me feeling blah.

This additional snackiness possibly combined with not running as much this month has led to me gaining 3 lbs, and I’m completely ok with that. I’m a healthy size 8-10 but would be equally happy with a few more curves! What I’m not ok with is feeling like crap. In all my musings on this I have reached the following conclusions:

• Stress can cause me to eat to excess (i.e. to the point of feeling sick rather than my natural fullness)
• Falling out of my routine throws my appetite off
• I’m probably not eating enough through the day
• I may be missing some nutrients (macro or micro) that is leading to me getting cravings

As I said, I really love the food I eat! I would normally crave healthier foods and I love that. What I do need to look at is making sure that I’m eating enough of the healthy stuff that I love and making sure that I’m getting the nutrients and fuel that I need. I feel like I’ve learned a lot over the last few weeks with regards  to listening to my body, I’ve been ignoring my hunger too much and then when I’ve been stressed recently I haven’t had the will power to ignore that hunger any more, which was ok to begin with but has got a little out of control. What I need to work on now is balancing out that ‘control’ and knowing when to relax.

With that in mind I am making a few changes to my diet, including having more snacks during the day so that I don’t feel as hungry later at night. If I still have a few snacks after dinner then that’s ok too, as long as its not the entire contents of a nut butter jar ;-) I may also calorie count a couple of days just for a while to make sure that I’m eating enough. This may lead to me gaining more weight and I’m fine with that. I know when I reach the right weight for my body it will settle down. I’m also still planning on having a bit of a detox, and yes, a detox is what it will be! I’m not ashamed of saying that, I feel like doing one, I’m going to be sensible and listen to my body, make sure I’m still eating plenty and I’m doing it to feel rebalanced and because I genuinely feel that my body and mind will benefit from it. 

We are all different with different bodies, different needs and different interests. What is classed as ‘healthy’ for one person may not be healthy for another. I personally feel that these differences should be respected and celebrated, particularly in the realm of healthy living blogs. I read the blogs that I am interested in, including blogs that focus on raw and vegan food because I personally enjoy those foods. Would I ever go completely raw or even completely vegan? (I still eat a few things with trace dairy sometimes like chocolate, I eat honey, and I’ve always maintained that I would eat animal products again if it was right for me) No! But do I think these people are wrong for eating in a way that makes them feel their best, or even worse, that they have an eating disorder because of this? Of course not!

I guess I’m saying this as there’s been a few very thought provoking blog posts around on this topic and I wanted to say how I feel about it. I love that what I eat makes me feel great, helps me to feel balanced most of the time, and connects me to the environment and the earth. What I choose to eat is right for me. Do I think everyone should eat or live like me? No! I said in a recent post I want to work with young people and community groups and the kind of healthy living approach I’d be advocating for them is far different to what I feel is right for me.

I think of it like a scale – we all need to find the right balance on the scale for us. For some people its right at the far end eating a high raw diet, for others its just a case of making sure they are getting their 5 fruit and veggies a day! Both can be healthy in their own way…

For me, healthy is doing whatever makes me feel my best physically and mentally. Despite a few little issues, I feel awesome!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this! I know a lot of you commented that you have also been experiencing excessive snackiness. What is healthy for you? Why do you read the ‘healthy living’ blogs you read?

Hope that’s not too heavy going, usual service will be resumed tomorrow with a recipe book review and giveaway! Hope you have a great day!

Hi everyone, hope Monday is treating you well! I thought I’d subject you all to another one of my wordy posts since you all gave me such good feedback on my last one!

Today I would like to share some thoughts on my diet as the way I eat has changed dramatically over the last few years. Before I lost weight I was obviously eating a pretty poor diet with too much processed food. Even while I was losing weight I was doing so by eating a lot of ‘diet foods’ like cuppa soups and ready meals. I was also using protein shakes as meal replacements and eating a lot of animal protein. It wasn’t until I really found blogs and started to learn more about nutrition that I made the changes that have lead me to where I am today. I went vegetarian in Oct 2010 and started to eat a mostly vegan diet in early 2011. I’ve never been a fully fledged vegan, I’ve still eaten honey and have not avoided foodstuffs with trace amounts of animal products in them. I also ate local free range eggs in April, but haven’t felt the need since. Last year, my diet also became filled with a lot of raw foods as I became more inspired by raw foods recipes. Looking back, between September 2010 and September 2011 I was unconsciously under eating and over training which I believe has created my current predicament. I don’t blame vegetarianism, veganism or raw foodism for that, I just think that I genuinely did not have a full understanding of how much I needed to be taking in to sustain my activity level at the time, and as plant foods tend to be less energy dense I was simply not eating enough. I also had an intense fear of gaining weight.

As of last September when I realised I had a problem I have slowly been increasing the amount I eat, mainly on purpose and partially because I had started binge eating (my bodies response to the prior months of depravation I believe). I’ve gained 17lbs since then. In March I started calorie counting to help me understand my energy requirements and although I get that there are inherent issues with this approach, it has been working extremely well for me. I have not binged once since I have become more aware of my needs, and I can eat what seems to me to be a substantial amount, guilt free. I am going to be moving away from regular calorie counting in the coming weeks now I have a better handle on things. I’ve mentioned within my WIAW posts that I’ve established a new eating pattern where I am eating 6-7 times a day, and always a later evening snack. I had resisted this style of eating before because I had read that ‘you should not eat 3 hours before bed’ and that eating later in the day ‘leads to weight gain’. What a load of bollocks!

Since I’ve started to listen to my body properly this time (in the past I had honestly believed I was listening to my body but that clearly wasn’t the case) I’ve discovered how much happier I am following my bodies needs and not overly concerning myself what I ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ be eating.

A few of the things I have discovered recently include:

• I seem to do best when eating plenty of fat and protein and going easy on carbs / sugar
• I prefer getting my carbs from fruit and vegetables including sweet potatoes
• I still love raw foods but I’m not as ‘structured’ with them as I used to be
• Processed foods, especially those with sugar, don’t make me feel good
• I sometimes worry I rely too much on tofu and powders for my protein needs
• A lot of ‘vegan foods’ like soy yoghurt contain added sugar which I don’t think agrees with me
• I love coffee!

Signing up for the Health Coaching course with IIN has also made me take a more critical look at my diet. I love IIN’s bio individuality theory – that not one way of eating suits everyone and that you should use your body as a laboratory, experimenting with what works best for you.

Now that my body is used to mostly whole, healthy foods I can trust it enough to listen to it. I think its an important point to make that ‘listening to your body’ may not be suitable for everyone. If you are currently eating a diet with a lot of processed foods and sugar, are overtraining or have other food issues, then you may not be able to trust your bodies signals. If I’d listened to my body 3 years ago I would have happily been reaching for another chocolate bar as all my natural cravings would have been over ridden by the amount of nutritionally devoid foods I was eating. Before you can really start to trust it, I think you first need to get yourself to a place where you are eating a mostly wholefoods diet and see where you go from there. Just my opinion of course!

With all that in mind I am going to be doing more experimenting with my diet. I 100% believe that veganism is ethically superior in this age of factory farming processes, but right now I think what is best for me is to not label my diet too much and just see where I end up. I don’t know if I’ll ever eat meat or fish again, the idea of eating flesh makes my skin crawl! However I do think I might be looking at eggs and dairy – but if I do I will be striving for free range, organic and local when possible.

With regards to the processed foods I do eat I think I’ll be moving away from products like Spiru-tein protein powders, soy yoghurt, cereals, chocolate soya desserts, dairy free cheese etc. I have a few things to use up but after they are gone I don’t think I’ll be getting them again, or if I do it will be on rare occasion.

Right now I am just in love with simple whole foods especially sweet potatoes and squash, avocados, full fat coconut milk, dried dates and figs, rich nut butter, strong dark raw chocolate and deep dark coffee. I know that too much caffeine isn’t suppose to be good for us but I truly believe the joy I get from a good cup of coffee makes up for that! I’m also still a big fan of raw foods. I no longer feel the need to eat a 100% raw meal, I just know I feel better when incorporating raw foods in general and eating semi raw / cooked meals like my favourite courgette noodles with roast squash.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m throwing out the ‘rule book’ I previously lived by. I truly believe that our own individual needs change over time. I was never a perfect vegan or could ever hope to be, all I want to do is live according to my own beliefs as best I can and be happy and healthy in the process :-)

How has the way you eat evolved over time? Do you think your body works best on a certain mix of carbs, proteins and fats? Do you have any ‘food rules’?

I’ve got a follow up to this post looking at my new grocery staples and budgeting coming up soon so stay tuned!

*I am not a fully qualified nutritionist in a position to give medical advice. This post is just based on what has worked for me. As always please consult with your doctor if you are underweight or think you may have an eating disorder.

Since I've started blogging about my health problems I've had several comments and emails from readers asking about my weight gain. I have to say this is a post I never thought I would have to write, but it makes me very happy that I'm in a position to do so! 

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I’ll just give a very quick background to this post in case some of you are catching up. After my initial healthy weight loss I found that I was continuing to lose weight. Towards the end of 2010 and during much of 2011 I lost quite a bit of weight and eventually I started to feel like I was getting too skinny – although it must be noted that I have never had an under weight BMI or an eating disorder – however I do think I have suffered from disordered eating. I honestly didn’t think that I had a major problem as I felt fantastic, didn’t feel hungry and was enjoying my food. In August last year I saw some photo’s of myself and realised that I really didn’t look great. Having been obese, I never believed I would be in the position of looking too thin! I think that was why it took me so long to really address it. I started relaxing my eating a bit and gained some weight back, but it was when I started to experience my lady problems that the alarm bells really started to go off. Since February I have made a concerted effort to gain weight to help address that problem. I’ve completely accepted that my body is just not healthy at a lower weight, despite my BMI being officially healthy. I have gone from a BMI of about 19.5 (in August last year) to now being just below a BMI of 23 and I intend to make sure I maintain this weight.

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There's all sorts of reasons why some people may be looking to gain weight rather than lose it, and some of these tips could also be helpful for people that are looking to maintain their weight after losing weight. Some people may be looking to increase their energy intake if they're training very hard or may just feel that they want to gain some weight to add more curves to their frame. After all, not everyone is after that ultra slim physique I've certainly learned to re-appreciate my curves and wouldn't go back to my lowest weight if you paid me! I think we all have different aesthetic ideals but we need to be able to rationalise them within what is healthy for our own body. I’m also not saying that I’m anti thin, I think that all natural and healthy body shapes should be accepted. Its ok to be slimmer or more curvy if your healthy and happy too!

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I wouldn't say that my weight gain has been done in a perfectly healthy way, I have had my fair share of evening over eating episodes which have contributed to it. However over the last couple of months I've been making a concerted effort to eat more calories as part of my daily meals and generally enjoy my food more!

I think a lot of people believe that to gain weight you need to start eating lots of junk food and other crap. I knew that I never wanted to go down that road again because eating like that makes me feel lethargic and generally run down. Don't get me wrong, if you need to gain weight then eating some calorie dense junk isn’t something that should you avoid or feel guilty for, but for a lot of us eating like that would make us feel worse instead of better.

My favourite healthy foods for weight gain

Coconut products - I just can't get enough of coconut right now! My favourite is full fat coconut milk, coconut yoghurt, coconut butter and coconut oil. Coconut products are high in fat including saturated fats, however these fats are in the form of medium chain fatty acids which some research has shown the body processes in a different way to other fats. I’ve been making my own coconut ice cream, lots of my favourite Thai curries and just enjoying coconut butter straight up from the jar!

Coconut butter melted on top of a smoothie, yum!

Avocado – Oh how I love avocados, again these are rich in healthy calorie dense fats. I’ve started trying to buy at least one a week and adding it to salads and Buddha bowls. I also need to get back to adding them into smoothies – they make them insanely creamy!

Avocado on top of a rice, pinto bean and broccoli Buddha bowl

Nut and seed butters – Need I say more? I have a slight obsession with nut butters they are probably my favourite food in the whole world! Again, they have lots of healthy fats and are nice and calorie dense. My favourites are tahini, almond butter, sunflower seed butter and I have a special place in my heart for Justin’s Chocolate Hazelnut butter! In fact when I initially started my focused weight gain I bought myself a jar and ate it in less than two weeks, delicious! I use my nut butters by making them into dressings for salads, sauces for stir fries, toppings for smoothies in a bowl, in oats, in yoghurt bowls, on rice cakes, pretty much everything!

Dried fruits – as they are dried they are a more concentrated form of fruit sugars and therefore calories. I really like them added to salads for sweetness and a couple of handfuls with some raw nuts makes a great snack. I also love dipping larger pieces of dried fruit like apricots or figs in nut butters. My absolute fave thing is dried figs dipped in tahini with honey or black strap molasses (for the iron), holy yum!

Almond butter with dried apricots and dark chocolate turtles

Nuts and seeds – not quite as calorie dense as nut butters because they have more volume, but still a great calorie dense healthy food. Raw or roasted they are great as snacks, added to salads and stir fries and of course, made into raw desserts!

A slice of my raw salted caramel pecan cake

Hummus – I include hummus because it contains both oil and tahini, make sure you get a full fat one (or make your own!) and its a great calorie dense dip for adding to all sorts of meals. You can add it in addition to your usual salad ingredients, in wraps, on toast, on top of baked potatoes etc.

Easy pesto hummus

Baked treats – I love baking but I have to admit I used to avoid it for fear of the additional calories, not any more! Indulge in lots of your favourite baked treats – I still like to bake my own things so that they are free from artificial chemicals and what not, but I no longer worry about cutting out the fat or sugar like I used to. Although I want to maintain my weight, I don’t want to end up overweight again so I usually store some of my baked goods in the freezer to enjoy later.

 Chocolate cupcakes with secret ingredient chocolate ganache

Processed but still wholegrain carbs – I’m thinking bread, pasta and noodles here. They are more calorie dense than their wholegrain counterparts such as rice and quinoa but still contain fibre and most are low GI so shouldn’t give you a sugar crash.

 Basic wholemeal loaf

Chocolate – Chocolate is quite simply good for my soul! I still ate it when I was losing weight but now I just eat a whole lot more of it! I still go for the less sugary dark chocolate and raw chocolate so I don’t get a sugar crash and skin breakouts, but I certainly don’t limit it like I did.

Home made raw chocolate

Of course if you are not vegan you can go for full fat dairy such as Greek yoghurt and cheese (I would go for organic). I guess my main tip is to not fear the fats, even so called ‘unhealthy’ saturated fats – as long as your not going crazy with them, a small amount found naturally in coconut products and organic diary is fine in my opinion.

I’m not going to lie, gaining weight has been hard for me. I’ve had to donate all my ‘skinny’ clothes to charity, and I don’t feel like I fit into the fit, slim and muscular body ideal that is certainly popular as part of this whole ‘strong is the new skinny’ trend right now. I’ve often felt like my weight gain has been out of control, and I’ve worried that I’m going to become overweight again. I’ve also worried about what other people think – that I’ve ‘let myself go’ or lack the self discipline to keep the weight off. However what I have experienced has been the complete opposite. James absolutely adores my curves, and without going TMI on you he really appreciates them if you know what I mean ;-) Also most people have commented that I look a lot healthier now than I did. My beloved boobs have come back and some of the sagging that I had has actually firmed up quite a bit, although that could be due to the increase in weight training I’ve been doing instead of the cardio. Aesthetically speaking, I have to be honest and say I would probably be more comfortable with how I look if I was just a couple of lbs less than I am right now, but my health trumps my vanity!

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One final thing on my personal experience, after unintentionally dropping a couple of pounds over the last two weeks I decided to calorie count for a day just to see where I was, and oh my god I had no idea how little I was eating in relation to my new size and energy expenditure. I know I've experimented with calorie counting in the past and I thought I had a rough idea of what I was eating but I've been so far off. Its almost like I need to re learn how to eat the right amount, which considering that I’ve spent most of my life either dieting or eating too much is understandable. I've started to use My Fitness Pal to track my intake to ensure that I'm eating enough. I would definitely not recommend this for everyone, it could be extremely triggering for anyone recovering from an ED but it is working beautifully for me right now. I love the amount of food I can eat and I feel so much more satisfied, the evening overeating has stopped and I'm generally feeling much happier in myself. I don't plan on calorie counting for long, just until I get a feel for what my intake should be, especially while I’m training for the Great North Run. Food is more than a number after all!

Have you ever been in the position of needing to gain weight?

If you’ve lost weight, how have you managed your weight maintenance? Did it take you some time to find a balance?

What are you favourite calorie dense but still healthy foods?

As I’ve been mentioning recently, very soon I will be turning the grand old age of 30! I know that some people aren’t that bothered about birthdays or milestones like the big 3-0 (James certainly wasn’t) but I love birthdays and turning 30 is a pretty big deal for me. Please forgive me as this is a bit of a self indulgent post!

Me at about 4 years old and my Nana – she had a huge influence on who I am today :-)

For me, turning 30 represents a major point in my life. My teenage years were difficult and I had very low self esteem, then my early twenties were spent in a long term relationship which ended very painfully, so it wasn’t until my mid twenties that I felt like I started to discover the real me. Since then I’ve been lucky enough to have travelled a lot, got married to an amazing man, bought my own flat, and built a good career. My healthy living journey and losing the weight has only really been the tip of the iceberg in terms of how much I’ve changed over the past 4 years.

My 18th birthday

I guess the point is that I feel like I’ve been on a huge journey of self discovery which has landed me where I am today, almost 30 years old with a very strong sense of who I am and what I want in life. I think that as my twenties were about finding the real me, then my thirties are going to be about coming into my own. The self doubt and lack of confidence has been replaced by focus, belief and a sense of knowing.

‘The’ photograph - when I realised I needed to make some big changes and started my weight loss, taken about 3.5 years ago

I’m so happy with where I am in my life right now, I think if you had asked me a few years ago what I would have been doing at this point I would have envisaged something different, but since then my mind has been opened to a whole new set of possibilities beyond anything I’d ever dreamed of. Now I have the opportunity to pursue true self fulfilment, success and happiness.

Our beautiful wedding in Italy 4 years ago

I think that something a lot of 30 year old women may relate to is the old ticking of the biological clock. I’m not going to lie and say it isn’t on my mind because it is, and that ticking has become a lot louder due to my health problems, but overall its not a big deal for me yet. In fact James and me have discussed whether or not we would even like to start a family or if we may want to go down a more non traditional route. However, I am only going to be 30, still so young in so many ways with plenty of time for all that! One thing I am sure of is that I want to lead the most full life possible. Writing my personal mission statement has really clarified what I would like to do and the difference I would like to make in the world.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to ask some of my amazing 30+ Twitter and Facebook followers what the best thing about turning 30 was for them, and here was what some of them said:

I loved all of these responses, seems that I have a lot to look forward to!

I guess you could say that I am mega excited about this milestone! I know that my thirties are going to bring the best years of my life so far, I can not wait, bring it on!

If you have already turned 30, how was it for you? Had you achieved all you had envisaged? If you are not yet 30, is it something you are looking forward to?

Over the last month I’ve received a few comments and emails from readers asking me how I started running. I thought it would be a perfect Monday musings topic, especially when I managed another sub 2 hour half marathon yesterday!

I first started running back in mid February 2010. I was about half way through my weight loss ‘journey’ and had just started blogging. I think reading about other bloggers running inspired me to give it a try, as well as having just gained 4 lbs! I recognised that my general fitness levels must have been ok as I managed to run 2 miles straight off.

I just started by going out there and doing it! I didn’t follow any plan, I just went out and jogged, I wasn’t bothered about my pace or distance, I just ran. I can remember that I would get nervous before each run as I was worried I wouldn’t be able to complete the route I had chosen. It was tough, but some how I always managed it!

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Mmm, I can safely say I never look this cool when running! :-p

I can remember the day I ran 2.5 miles and really enjoyed it, I even called that blog post Mega Run. Little did I imagine back then that now my ‘mega runs’ are 13 miles! Towards the end of March 2011 I started to get more into it and got the Run Keeper app for my phone so I could start and monitor my mileage and pace. At this point I was was running 3 miles with my average pace being around 10.30 a mile.

In March 2011 I was an avid reader of JAG’s fitness blog. When she signed up for the Great North Run I was inspired and decided to look into doing it myself. It had always been on my bucket list, but until then I had never dreamed I’d be able to do it. Seeing other people in the blogging world attempting such feats gave me the confidence to try. I ended up getting a place in the race to run for Cancer Research UK, a cause very close to my heart. At this point I was running up to 4 miles.

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I took the approach of gradually increasing mileage each week and I really started to take things more seriously. I was running 3 miles and needed to increase this to 13.1! I basically ran a little further each week, again not following any plan. After I could run about 5 miles I realised that I should get properly fitted for some running shoes which I did, but unfortunately I still got injured!

Looking back, I probably increased my mileage a little too quickly, compounded with having a wonky knee (or poor bio mechanics as the physiotherapist described it). I found being injured extremely difficult to deal with and very upsetting. I didn’t run for a month but managed to retain some fitness by working out at the gym. I got back to running with the help of a knee support and orthotics and trained from 4 miles at the beginning of July to 13.1 miles by the end of August – probably not a sensible approach, but I was determined to complete the half marathon!

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In September 2010 I completed the Great North Run in 2 hours 7 minutes. It was without a doubt one of the greatest achievements of my life. I had always been last at cross country running in school, the ‘fat kid’ and hated all forms of physical activity. To actually run 13.1 miles without stopping and in a respectable time was just amazing for me.

Since then I’ve continued running. Over winter I ran at a much reduced mileage and mostly on the treadmill. I decided to sign up for the Great North Run again this year and since getting back to outdoor running in March I’m making great improvements with my speed and distance, including achieving a sub 2 hour half and I’m loving running more than ever!

If your thinking of trying to start running here’s a few tips my experiences have taught me:

• Don’t compare yourself to others – I used to read blogs and think about how slow I was compared to other more seasoned runners. I realised that this wasn’t helpful as it led to me feeling inadequate. I decided to just focus on my own improvements in pace and distance which were, and still are amazing!
• No such thing as a bad run – if I went out and had a slow and difficult run I used to feel really deflated and de motivated. When I started to recognise that just getting my arse out of the front door was an achievement in itself, and that even when a run was bad I was learning about myself and my body and building mental strength, I knew that there was no such thing as a bad run.
• Don’t care about what others think – when I first started running I was hyper aware of people watching me – I would worry that they were making judgements, thinking I was slow, too fat to run etc. Eventually I just started to not care. Remember – your doing an amazing thing for your body by going out and exercising, screw them whatever they may think! I can honestly say I look like crap when I run: a big hot, red sweaty mess and I don’t care!
• Take it steady – if that means walking breaks that’s fine – don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself. Set small goals such as ‘keep running until that lamp post’ then take a walk break and so on. You will be amazed at how fast you progress.
• Don’t over train – You will progress fast with running, but don’t make the same mistake I did and progress too quickly! Most recommend that mileage is not increased by more than 10% a week.
• Use a plan if that’s what works for you – I didn’t really have a set plan other than what I made up myself and that worked for me. If you prefer more structure check out a C25K plan or the Hal Higdon plans.
• Enter a race for something your passionate about – entering the Great North Run and knowing that I would be raising money for Cancer Research UK really kept me focused. It may sound a bit cheesy, but whenever I thought things were tough I remembered that this was nothing compared to what cancer patients had to endure. That thought alone, as well as wanting to achieve my big goal of completing a half marathon, got me out of bed for a run quite often!
• Enjoy it! – this is probably the most important thing to remember. If you just don’t like running and you have tried a few times, changed up your route etc then don’t force it. Life is too short to do something week in and week out if you hate it. There’s plenty of other forms of exercise to try. I absolutely love running, the ‘me’ time I have from it, how it makes me feel, the glow it gives me and the amazing sense of achievement :-)

Are you a runner? How did you get into running? Any other tips for new runners you’d like to add?